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Would you stay in a sexless and loveless marriage?

Would you stay in a sexless and loveless marriage?

We got an interesting email into the show. It is something we have spoken about on the show before but I think it is a prevalent issue today.

Have a listen to this message.

Hi Niall,

Can you talk about relationships where there is no spark anymore? I am currently in one and it is horrendous. I have been married for 15 years now. For the most part it was a happy marriage but in the last number of years it is gone stale, for lack of a better term.

My wife and I are no longer affectionate or passionate. We sleep in the same bed but that is as close as we ever are. We don’t kiss; we seem to only talk about matters concerning the kids and even watch TV in separate rooms.

I don’t remember an exact moment when things changed to be honest. It was kind of a gradual thing whereby we just stopped being loving towards each other. I think it is an age thing. We are both in our 40s. We haven’t had sex in about five years.

I am not blaming my wife for this by the way; I think it is both of us. What I am questioning though is whether or not we are expected to stay in this relationship. We have two kids who are in their late teens. Our girls still live at home with us. We do things together as a family like go for dinner every now and again but we never do things as a couple.

I have spoken to my brother about this and he said it’s an age thing and that once you get to a certain age in a relationship things start to go like this. I go out with my friends at the weekend for a pint and it is a little escape for me. I enjoy that. I have asked my wife to come but she never wants to so I stopped asking. It is now just assumed that I will go out myself.

I work and provide for my family. I am no dead beat, down and out – but I think as a couple we are in some sort of rut or routine – whatever people want to call it.

Is this normal? Are we expected to stay together? We have never once spoken about breaking up. I don’t know if my wife feels the same as me – she might – or she might be happy with how things are now. I have tried to speak to her about it but it doesn’t ever seem to be resolved.

I would be interested to hear people’s opinions on this – is this normal in a marriage?

What do you think of this person’s email? I feel for the man I really do. I couldn’t imagine being with someone who you don’t speak to, let alone are not intimate with.

Some people say being intimidate is not the be all and end all of a relationship. But if intimacy is not there in a relationship – it can feel like that.

I want to get your views on this tonight – Would you expect this man to stay with his wife?

So – here is the question today – would you stay in a loveless and affectionless marriage?

Remember you can find more stories on the Niall Boylan Facebook and Twitter pages and remember #IrelandTalks4fm 

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